It is that time of year again. It is the third annual Top 10 worst music tracks we’ve reviewed all year. This year is particularly special because, this year, the number 1 worst track received the worst score we have ever given a track to date. Now, what track could be that bad?
Every week, we here at Freezenet review a lot of music. At the end of each year, we count down both the top 10 best and top 10 worst tracks we’ve heard all year. We did this clear back in 2014 and we did this in 2015. We cover a large variety of genre’s and sometimes, the music just doesn’t meet our expectations of what a great track should sound like. In these cases, the track fell well below expectations and into the basement. This year is particularly special because we have actually given a track the worst score to date. No track up to now has scored so poorly. Believe us when we say we were a bit surprised to find out which artist that came from too. So, let’s get to it. Here is the 2016 top 10 worst tracks we’ve reviewed.
10. Nick Jonas – Jealous
[RIAA]
Nick Jonas may still get jealous from time to time, but there is nothing to be jealous about this track. A throwback to the N’ Sync sound layered with overly used terminology, this track only has a slow R&B beat going for it. Because of this barely passable listening experience, this track ends up making the cut for this top 10 list.
5/10
9. Hozier – Take Me to Church
[RIAA]
It’s always painful when we find rock music that sounds horrible, but they do certainly exist. With vocals and guitars that loosely relate to each other, this track winds up just getting extremely boring after a few listens.
5/10
8. Bad Company – How About That
[RIAA]
An old rock track which ends up being a Guns N Roses soundalike. This track winds up having nothing memorable in it in spite of the punchy bass guitar and bass kick.
5/10
7. Tove Lo – Talking Body
[RIAA]
A prime example of why throwing in some lyrics that may be controversial might not necessarily translate into great music. What really dragged this track down was the fact that the lyrics hardly strayed from the title. The instrumental areas of this track really fell flat in their effort to save this track on top of it all. Meaningless lyrics means that it will meaningfully be placed on this list.
5/10
6. Jason Derulo – Want to Want You
[RIAA]
If you want to sound great to me, don’t remind me of the Backstreet Boys. Also, don’t produce extremely boring lyrics. That tends to help. What also helps in keeping a track off this list is instruments that will help the track stand out. Oh, and if you’re going to be hitting high notes, do so with a good reason. Unfortunately, this track does all of the above and is the first track that goes below a passable score.
4.5/10
5. Lorde – Royals
[RIAA]
Lorde may never be Royals, but Lorde will certainly take this track and make it make the cut for the top 5 worst tracks we’ve heard all year. The lyrics may be praiseworthy, but nothing else in this track really worked.
4/10
4. Guns N’ Roses – Knocking on Heavens Door
[RIAA]
We’re told that this is some of the greatest rock music of all time. How this is labelled as greatest is still a mystery to us. For one, this track really is 3 minutes too long. For another, anything positive about this track gets beaten to death in dull repetition. Thirdly, the track has a way of wearing out its welcome quickly. How, again, is this track supposed to be so amazing?
3/10
3. The Weeknd – Can’t Feel My Face
[RIAA]
It’s starting to look like RIAA music may make a clean sweep this year. The top 3 worst tracks begins with this track which features vocals that don’t fit with the rest of the music. Thanks to a complete lack of smooth transitions, somewhat awkward vocals and surprisingly confusing lyrics, this track ends up being a train wreck.
3/10
2. Skrillex and Diplo – Where Are U Now (feat. Justin Beiber)
[RIAA]
What happens when you take one artist that has already made a list like this, combine that with another artist who also has made a list like this, then throw in a third artist for good measure? The one big audio mess that manages to make me want to jam a screwdriver into my ear. When Justin Beiber is the best part of the track, you know you’re in trouble. This track features, well, a squeaky hinge, and other sounds that have pretty much no musical value. But hey, the title looks like it was texted, so it’s cool, right?
2.5/10
1. Madonna – Bitch I’m Madonna (feat. Nicki Minaj)
[RIAA]
This year, the last thing I would expect is to find very many artists that are worse that Justin Beiber and Skrillex. The last thing I would also expect is to say Madonna is worse given that I have heard decent music from her in the past. Boy was I dead wrong on that one. There was so much that was bad about this track that it was difficult to even figure out where to begin. At no moment were the vocals paired with any good sound. Normally, I enjoy synth sounds, but this was really bad. While it tries to change things up with different sections (something I normally praise a track for), the different sections of the track were all just horrible. To cap it all off, the track ends on a really bizarre note which I can only think is the sound of a dog bark combined with a zipper. I ended up telling my computer screen after, “What the heck did I just listen to?” Because of all of that, this track ends up being the single worst track I’ve heard to date.
0.5/10
Honorable Mentions
What can I say? RIAA music ended up sweeping the list this year. Still, these weren’t the only duds we found this year. Here are a few more honorable mentions that didn’t quite make the cut:
Mariah Carey – Vision of Love (RIAA) Sometimes, classic sounds can be nostalgic. Unfortunately, this track just doesn’t capture, well, anything, let alone nostalgia. A track that ends up being quite forgettable.
5.5/10
Walk the Moon – Shut Up and Dance (RIAA) Cliche packed lyrics once again puts another track on a list like this. The vocals ended up sounding way too familiar and the styles of rock that was blended together ended up being poorly executed.
5.5/10
Soundgarden – Black Hole Sun (RIAA) We try to like classic rock music, we really do. Unfortunately, not every track is going to sound great. The lyrics are puzzling and the guitars just sound generic to me. Because of it, this track was barely a passable listening experience.
5/10
That concludes another top 10 list. For the second time, RIAA music has made a clean sweep of the top 10 worst music list. We hope you enjoyed the list. Stay tuned, though, because tomorrow, we present to you the top 10 worst games we’ve reviewed in 2016. Then, in the new year, we will start the year on a positive note by presenting to you the top 10 best games and the top 10 best music track we’ve reviewed in 2016!
Further reading
Top 10 Best Music Reviewed in 2014
Top 10 Best Music Reviewed in 2015
Drew Wilson on Twitter: @icecube85 and Google+.
