We’ve reached the end of the year. As is the tradition around here, we start counting down the most memorable tracks for the year. Today, we count down the tracks that were remembered for all the wrong reasons.
For us, 2018 was about expanding our horizons. We listened to a lot of music in a host of different genre’s. We’ve expanded what we know about music and got to hear a lot that we wouldn’t otherwise have heard. Once again, like many years prior, we learned that there is a lot of great music out there.
Of course, as we journeyed along, some tracks just didn’t really measure up. these tracks either disappoint or outright fell flat altogether. This year, we noticed something interesting happening. The list of tracks that simply failed to impress wound up being surprisingly competitive. By the time we got to the end of the year, a mere 3 points separated 10th and 1st. While some tracks were very close together, we were able to determine our rankings. So, let’s check out what was the worst we’ve heard this year:
10. Katy Perry – I Kissed a Girl
[RIAA]
An irritating track that is practically meant to be more trolltastic than anything else. This track manages to pretty much be annoying to any potential listener out there. In retrospect, it’s actually impressive it didn’t make it any higher on the list.
6/10
9. Spice Girls – Wannabe
[RIAA]
An older pop track that simply doesn’t make the grade for us. While small samples may sound decent enough, once you hear the whole track, it becomes a jumbled mess of sounds with absolutely no cohesion. As a result, the track, as a whole, falls flat.
5.5/10
8. Kiss – Jungle
[RIAA]
It’s the only non-pop track on this list. This one contains long drawn out solo’s that counteract some of the positive guitar work. To make matters worse, some of the lyrics are hard to understand and, at times, wind up being unintelligible. A very average track.
5/10
7. Justin Bieber – What Do You Mean
[RIAA]
Still pushing for some kind of life time achievement award, this artist manages to once again make the list. The tracks didn’t make these lists just once, not twice, but three times before now. In this case, not only is everything about this track extremely bland and generic, but the lyrics were sloppy and the track as a whole is largely forgettable.
4/10
6. Maroon 5 – Don’t Wanna Know
[RIAA]
Annoying lyrics and boring acoustic sounds isn’t a good start to a track. When I find myself being grateful I never have to listen to the track ever again by the time I finished reviewing it, you know it’ll probably wind up on this list.
4/10
5. Zayn and Taylor Swift – I Don’t Wanna Live Forever
[RIAA]
This track is of 50 Shades of Gray fame. It’s probably one of the only reasons I’ve even heard of it in the first place given the exceedingly strong marketing push for the movie. The extremely high-pitched male vocals pretty much ruins the track entirely. If you sing an octave too high for your vocal range, it almost never sounds good. Since the producers dialed these vocals to 10, it will probably get pretty high on this list. In this case, it manages to flop its way to number 5.
4/10
4. Ed Sheeran – Shape of You
[RIAA]
It is our first impression of the year 2017 in music. Boy did 2017 get off to a bad start with us. This track takes a rather interesting concept and turns it into a bland, boring and trashy track. The flow is bad and the uninspired lyrics makes this a pretty bad listening experience.
4/10
3. The Chainsmokers – Closer (Feat. Halsey)
[RIAA]
We’re now entering the category of, “if your going to fail, fail big” now. The third worst track we’ve heard all year manages to just barely squeak by into this spot because it had so much potential and flops hard anyway. When you have a male and female vocal dynamic, chances are, you got some incredibly dynamic sound that makes for a great listening experience. In this case, this track somehow manages to accomplish the exact opposite by working these vocals down until they simply sounded flat. It’s not just bad, it’s an accomplishment in failure.
4/10
2. Clean Bandit – Rockabye (Feat. Sean Paul and Anne-Marie)
[RIAA]
There are a number of words you want your track to be described as. The word “torture” isn’t one of them. This track is as if someone went through the marketing archives, pulled a list of genre’s and smashed everything together expecting a hit. Without any regard how the end results, we get something that makes me want to drop a piece of silverware into the garbage disposal just to relieve myself of the awful sounds that came from this listening experience.
3.5/10
1. Ariana Grande – Side to Side (feat. Nicki Manaj)
[RIAA]
It isn’t exactly a landslide victory, but this track did edge out the competition for the worst track of the year. For one, the vocal talents are simply wasted on a badly laid out track. For another, the lyrics are stale and clunky. Finally, the backing instruments do little to save this track in any way. As a result, this track wins the award for worst track we’ve heard all year.
3/10
That’s it for now. Stay tuned, though. Tomorrow, we’ll be counting down the top 10 worst video games we’ve played all year.
Drew Wilson on Twitter: @icecube85 and Google+.
