We’ve reached the time of year where we begin counting down our top 10 lists. It’s been a yearly tradition here on Freezenet, and this year, we aren’t going to disappoint.
As is the tradition every year, we start with the top 10 worst tracks and continue on down the line. It’s a bit of a reflective time of year for us, and this year, we do have plenty to reflect on. This year, we focused our efforts in exploring the early 90s. This has been a mission we’ve been doing since at least last year and we are continuing our exploration.
Before we go any further, however, we would like to make a small announcement. As this list is concluding the year 2020, this makes the year 1990 over 30 years old. As we alluded to last year, we officially now declare music released in 1990 to be aged music. So, the oldest we will now go is going to be 1991 until the end of next year.
When we said we won’t go before 1990, there was a bit of surprised reaction. Still, we stuck with cutting it off at 1990 because that music is extremely old in our view. The suggestion was that there is a lot of great music in the 80s that we are missing out on. So, naturally, we thought that remnants of the quality of 80s music would appear in the 90s. 1990 is the closest neighbour we have to the 80s after all.
Unfortunately, after reviewing a lot of music from that release year, we wound up realizing that the music isn’t too spectacular. In fact, we ended up being quite disappointed. We only found one great track out of the 50 we reviewed. In the end, 1990, based on what we are able to find, is a pretty dull year in music. Still, it was an experience nevertheless and we now know more about music than before in that era. So, we are happy we at least got to experience the music even if it isn’t as great as we thought it would be.
As you can imagine, along the way, we found a lot of music that just didn’t work. That made this years top 10 worst tracks surprisingly competitive. With so many mathematical ties, it ended up pretty challenging to come up with an order we are happy with. Still, after a lot of careful consideration, we have been able to come up with our list for this year. Enjoy.
10. Lou Reed – Whats Good (The Thesis)
(RIAA)
The only 6/10 rated track to actually make the actual list. This track winds up being a shopping list more than an actual track. As such, it made for a pretty bland track.
6/10
9. Red Hot Chili Peppers – Under the Bridge
(RIAA)
A bland track with virtually nothing exciting going for it. This one was one of the number of tracks I had to re-listen to because there was so little that was memorable about it.
5.5/10
8. Dire Straits – Heavy Fuel
(RIAA)
Another track with virtually nothing memorable about it. A slow track with no energy coupled with having nothing distinct about it made this track one of the worst tracks we’ve heard all year.
5.5/10
7. Peter Gabriel – Digging in the Dirt
(RIAA)
When a track has guitars that do nothing for the track, you’re not off to a good start. Combine this with skimpy lyrics and an overall sense of blandness and your track is sure to get on a list like this.
5/10
6. Van Halen – Poundcake
(RIAA)
A track from a big named band. Just because the band is well known doesn’t mean they will always produce hits. This is a great example of a big band producing a flop. With a jumbled mess of sound and the track basically meandering aimlessly to the end, it winds up being hard to follow, let alone enjoy.
5/10
5. Eric Clapton – Tears in Heaven
(RIAA)
We are now into the top 5 at this stage. This track made the cut for being very boring. If you are looking for interesting features in this one, it’s going to be a tough search.
5/10
4. LaTour – People Are Still Having Sex
(RIAA)
This track tries to make a name for itself with pure shock value. Once you get past the shock value in the theme and title, this one becomes a rather boring and pointless track.
5/10
3. George Michael – Too Funky
(RIAA)
Taking the first of the top 3 slots, this track has vocals that are hard to understand. Even if you understand the lyrics, its quite hard to follow. As a result, we get our first flunk in the list.
4.5/10
2. The Black Crowes – Remedy
(RIAA)
When the strongest part of the track (in this case, the backup vocals) wind up being very average, you know the track is already in trouble. With guitars that do next to nothing and the heavily slurred lyrics, this track simply fails to make the grade.
4/10
1. Deee-Lite – Good Beat (Shake Your Body To The Beat Mix)
(RIAA)
Not a typical genre to win this years worst track of the year. By a razor thin margin, this track manages to win the worst track we’ve heard all year. This track wins because it basically sounds like someone who is just learning how to use music production software. With random sounds strung together with a beat, this track really deserved to simply slide onto the cutting room floor. Instead, it winds up here as the worst track we’ve heard all year.
4/10
Honourable Mentions
This year, we are spoiled for choice. While those tracks are bland, here are five additional tracks that didn’t quite make the list, but are worthy of a mention.
Amy Grant – Baby Baby (RIAA) This track barely gets a mention on this years list for off key notes and skimpy lyrics.
6/10
Jon Secada – Just Another Day (RIAA) A track with OK vocals, but hardly anything else going for it.
6/10
John Mellencamp – Get a Leg Up (RIAA) A track that manages to be everything mediocre. The fact that it’s bland didn’t help things either.
6/10
Gloria Estefan – Coming Out of the Dark (RIAA) A track with mastering problems. Some parts are very quiet while other tracks are very loud. A skimpy amount of lyrics didn’t help things.
6/10
The Cure – Friday I’m In Love (RIAA) A track that lists off the days of the week, throws in a few bizarre notes, and calls it a track. Not that great.
6/10
This year is definitely a close one. With only two points separating an honourable mention and the worst track, just about any one of them could very well have won. So, an interesting line up this year.
Join us tomorrow as we explore the top 10 worst games we’ve reviewed all year!
Drew Wilson on Twitter: @icecube85 and Facebook.
