We’ve reached the end of another year. As is our tradition, that means we count down the top 10 worst music tracks we’ve reviewed in 2023.
We’ve reached the end of yet another year in reviews. AS far as music is concerned, we certainly focused a lot of attention onto the late 90’s. While we did add the odd track from the 2000’s and later, most of it wound up being in the late 90’s.
While other years delivered some pretty disappointing results, this year, things seemed to improve somewhat. Once we hit 1998, it gradually became easier to find some pretty decent stuff for us. For the release year of 1999, we infrequently found some pretty good tunes. That, of course, is a nice thing to see.
Having said that, we certainly found our share of dud’s along the way. As a result, we have once again got a full roster of tracks that just hit all the wrong notes.
Before we get in to the top 10 worst tracks, we thought it would be appropriate to give one last salute to the release year of 1993. As of this writing, we have officially closed the door on that year. As such, we would like to mention that the track of the year for 1993 officially belong to Paw – Jessie. Certainly a great track to listen to.
So, with that out of the way, let’s take a look at the top 10 tracks that we thought were the worst this year.
10. Goo Goo Dolls – Iris
(RIAA)
The track that barely makes the list this year is one where the main chorus is reasonable, but fleeting. Add a jarring false ending and a rather mediocre instrumental section and you have a track that can get added to this list.
5/10
9. Backstreet Boys – Everybody (Backstreets Back)
(RIAA)
A track that knew how to irritate listeners in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. This track features so much self promotion, you’ll want to unplug your speakers and throw them out the window in a fit of rage after a while. Not surprising that this one makes the list this year.
5/10
8. Van Halen – Without You
(RIAA)
I had to listen to this track again to get an idea of what it was like again. When I looked back at the review, I realized why I had a hard time remembering it. It’s an extremely forgettable track. Incomprehensible lyrics and a meandering collection of musical idea’s means this track aimlessly wanders onto this list.
5/10
7. Sloan – Money City Maniacs
(RIAA)
Continuing on with this track and we have a complaint we are already saying about others, mumbling vocalists and incomprehensible lyrics. With mediocre guitars and a random siren sample thrown in the beginning, this track simply fails to impress.
5/10
6. Byron Stingily – Get Up (Everybody) (Parade Mix)
(Commercial)
Ever listen to a track and ask yourself part way through, “What the [blank] am I listening to anyway?” This track made me react this way thanks to the absolutely bizarre main vocals makes this track a painful one to listen to. While backup vocals and some other features are decent, this is one of those tracks where one element completely ruins it.
5/10
5. Aphex Twin – Come to Daddy (Pappy Mix)
(Commercial)
Moving from bad to worse is this track that cracks the top 5. While there is a well realized mood, the overuse of fast distance effects and lack of progression makes this track one that is barely passable.
5/10
4. Fastball – The Way
(RIAA)
The first track that failed us is this one. From the outset, this track wound up being a major snore fest for us. An annoying and repetitive piano didn’t really help anything either. To make matters worse, the guitars were a mess and it just randomly ends part way through a solo. No surprise this is a flop.
4/10
3. Hole – Retard Girl
(RIAA)
It’s kind of a surprise to see a band that made Celebrity Skin also having produced this one. This track features washed out vocals through the mastering made worse by random screaming and messy lyrics. Thanks also to a repetitive guitar, this track manages to flop hard enough to make it into this years top 3.
4/10
2. Blur – Caramel
(RIAA)
This years runner up is one that is so bad, it probably would have been better served by dropping it onto the cutting room floor. With washed out vocals thanks to bad mastering and some awkward notes, this track just doesn’t cut it in any way. Throw in a few false endings and some random sections that doesn’t fit and you got a pretty awful track.
2.5/10
1. XTC – Easter Theatre
(Commercial)
This years winner for worst track we’ve heard all year definitely belongs to this one. While other tracks had some awful aspects, none could descend into how badly this one was produced. With instruments hitting some pretty awkward notes and backup vocals that are just plain awkward, this track is already well on the way to being a pretty bad track. Add the fact that there simply is no flow and the overall track is just painful to listen to, this track definitely tops the list for worst track we’ve heard all year.
2/10
Honourable Mentions
While those were some pretty bad tracks, we wound up having a full line-up of honourable mentions this year as well. Here is what also wound up hitting the wrong notes.
Elton John – Recover Your Soul (RIAA) A track that really goes deep into mediocrity. The other problems such as lack of distinction didn’t help either.
6/10
Super Furry Animals – Demons (RIAA) Another mediocre track with nothing exciting going on with the vocals.
6/10
The Tragically Hip – Bobcaygeon (RIAA) A bland track with nothing really exciting going for it.
6/10
Deep Purple – Any Fule Kno That (RIAA) Bad mastering leaves the lyrics rather garbled.
6/10
Pearl Jam – Given to Fly (RIAA) A bland track with hard to understand lyrics. In retrospect, actually impressive this track didn’t quite make the cut for the main top 10, really.
5.5/10
That’s it for the worst tracks we’ve heard this year. Join us tomorrow as we count down the top 10 worst games we’ve played throughout 2023.
Drew Wilson on Twitter: @icecube85 and Facebook.
